Brothers

I trigger you and

You trigger me. We compete

And re-enact our

Parent’s drama. You

Are jealous of me, lash out.

I am stung, speak true

Vitriol, withdraw,

To rehearse the battle, time

And again. I swear

To never speak to

You, but crave your amusement

At my wit. I want

You to accept me,

But you can’t, because I am

What you are not. I

Am wise in ways that

You can’t be, and diminish

You by my presence.

We are not equals.

I am better. And so when

I offer you my

Warm embrace, you spurn

It, and power trip with your

Dubious stolen

Authority. I

Want you only to act like

A person, but you

Can only bully

And escalate. I withdraw,

Seek to shame you with

My silence. I make

Myself bigger and stronger

And louder and more

Proficient, useful

By the world’s standards, but

To no avail, still

You reject me. I

Cannot be other than what

I am. I am wise,

Articulate, well

Loved. A good brother would cheer

Me, not feel upstaged.

This becomes dusty

Death, another loss for me

To grieve, you won’t pull

Me down with you. I

Am alive and free and light.

A star, I must shine.

Mutant Freak

I have always been

A mutant freak, different

From the norm, and now

You see it, and you

Watch for my horns to grow. You’re

Sure I’m just waiting

For the other shoe

To drop, to flee and fly from

You, join my freaky

Friends. I reassure

You, that I don’t have any

Friends; you are my home.

I have nowhere to

Fly, and I cannot picture

Life without you there.

Manifesting

At the threshold to

Abundance, I beheld my

Heart’s deepest yearning.

To be seen, to be

Known, appreciated and

Cherished. To see joy

In stranger’s eyes when

They behold me. To speak and

Be heard, understood.

To enjoy the fruits of

My labors. To have my love

Exchanged, increased, shared.

To no longer be

Alone, to share my deepest

Longings with someone.

Finished screaming to

The void, now my voice joins with

A chorus, comrades.

Burnout

You’d think becoming

A doctor would lead to my

Deep fulfillment, an

Intersection of

My gifts and the world’s needs.

No. It’s all band-aids.

I save a life and

Forget it, beat my head on

The wall when I don’t

Know an answer. It’s

Ashes in my mouth. Reward

For years of struggle

Is to be beset

By insoluble problems.

I long for music,

Peace, rest, safety, an

End to toil and turmoil.

Sabbath of Sabbaths.