Behind these cold dead
Eyes, what secrets do I hide?
Ones you’ll want erased.

Behind these cold dead
Eyes, what secrets do I hide?
Ones you’ll want erased.
Such a relief when
I take my mask off and
Show my real face to
Myself in the car
Mirror after I leave you
At home every day.
It only hurts when I
Breathe, or hope, or believe
In something again.
Food doesn’t taste right.
Take a pill. Feeling mean. Take
A pill. Dark clouds hang
Over me. Take a pill.
This time I’ll feel better. I
Take a pill. I wait.
You have to give up.
Hope is what is killing you.
It will never change.
It will always hurt
Like this. Nothing will improve it.
Release it and breathe.
My skeleton will
Melt. I will make my home in
The nautilus shell.
I identify
With former child stars, washed
Up. Anonymous,
Unaddicted, still
Am I a tarnished relic
Of former promise.
My face doesn’t work.
When my family sees me,
They worry, “what has
Happened?” Nothing. This
Is just who I am now. This
Shell is all I am.
You are so joyful
And I mean nothing to you.
I wither and die.