I am tired of
These drug addicts. I want to
Be with addicts of
The type of drugs which
I am addicted to. They
Are far more urbane.
A Better Class of Fiend
Tag: humor
My Self Talk
The part of me that says, “I wish I’d never been born,”
I’m teaching to say, “I wish my hair had never been shorn.”
That said, “I wish I was dead,” to say, “I wish I had dreads.”
That says, “I should just kill myself,” to say,
“I should just thrill myself. Thrill everybody.”
Nick at Nite and the Occult
Just struck by how many old TV shows on Nick at Nite when I was a kid had strange occult premises.
Mr. Ed: a foolish young man and his familiar, a horse
I Dream of Jeannie: astronaut marries a succubus
Bewitched: man married undead crone
My Mother, the Car: haunted automobile harasses bereaved son, impersonating his mother
The Flying Nun: levitation proves problematic for a novice nun
Stupid
There’s a dunce cap I
Wear every day, sometimes I
See it, and realize
Why everyone laughs
At me. I struggle to put on don
The jester’s hat so
I can laugh with them.
Then I forget, and assume
It’s a mortarboard.
Again and Again
I feel like Charlie
Fucking Brown, astonished when
Shitty people do
Shitty things. I thought
My expectations were low
Enough, but Surprise!
Man In Black
Can I have this dance?
Please don’t mind my feet, they are
Basically hooves.
Sure, I have a beak
For a nose. Yes, my eyes burn
Red in the moonlight.
I am so cold, my
Dear, even with all this fur.
Warm me, take me home.
Just do a tiny
Favor for me: renounce your
Baptism. No big
Deal. Make me your new
God, and I’ll be so good to
You, you’ll never doubt.
Dungeon
We can make this a
Sex dungeon, easy. Just throw
A mattress on the
Floor and turn out the
Light. Then, start screaming and I
Will come and find you.
Witchfinder
I detect witches
With my rings. If a witch sees
Them, they say “oh my!
I love those rings! I
Wish I had those!” Boom. It works
Every single time.
Unreal
Aliens are real.
It’s me I’m not very sure
About. Existence
Is subjective. I
Have, for brief moments, been real.
But I was on drugs.
