Man In Black

Can I have this dance?

Please don’t mind my feet, they are

Basically hooves.

Sure, I have a beak

For a nose. Yes, my eyes burn

Red in the moonlight.

I am so cold, my

Dear, even with all this fur.

Warm me, take me home.

Just do a tiny

Favor for me: renounce your

Baptism. No big

Deal. Make me your new

God, and I’ll be so good to

You, you’ll never doubt.

Dr Seuss At Night

I would not, could not

In the butt, I would not, could

Not, for it is shut.

A finger in my

Ass, you say? No finger will

Enter me today.

A leather ball gag

Is not for me; even if

You say I’m a drag.

These proclivities

Which you suggest are simply

Not my cup of tea.

Try it and I may,

You say? Very well. Only

To please you. Okay.

Say! This isn’t so

Bad. I rather like it in

The butt! You can go

Further, if you want!

Faster, faster, go, go, go!

Wow! What a jaunt!

I do so like it

In the ass! Perhaps I’ll try

That ball gag! Don’t quit!

You are a wise man,

I can see, humane, thank you,

Thank you, Sam I Am.

(Illustrations from Dr. Seuss’ The Seven Lady Godivas)

Money on the Table

Look, man, I know you
Been working hard, but we are
Going to need a lot

More out of you. I
Know, you want to know the “why?”
You always do, and

That’s alright. But here’s
The thing: it doesn’t fucking
Matter what you want.

Got it? It doesn’t.
I know, I know. You worked your
Ass off to get here.

Everybody did.
You gave up hopes and dreams to
Do this. Sacrifice,

Man, come on. To make
A thing holy, you gotta
Give it up. That’s all.

You’re where you are now
Because you did what others
Wouldn’t. Not couldn’t.

Wouldn’t. Felt like an
Idiot for years with a
Bunch of guys who are

Younger than you, know
A lot more, look better, and
They’re already rich.

What have you got? The
Ability to suffer. That’s
Right. They’re complaining

About why they can’t do
It, and you’re out there doing
It! So what, so what,

You’re stuck now. Study
Another year, because the
Virus cancelled your boards.

Big shit. Who cares? It
Will make you better. Stronger.
Some of the staff talk

Shit about you. What
Are they going to do? They
Took their shot at you

Already and it
Missed. They took what they could, and
You got the better

Deal. You beat them with
Knowledge: disability.
They are required

By law to help you,
To accommodate you and
Demonstrate what they

Did. And you told ‘em,
You’d take ‘em to court. Guess what.
They haven’t done shit.

What have you got that
They’ll never have? Brass balls. You
Get it done, man. No

Reason to get all
Discouraged. You have your one
Golden ticket to

Learn whatever the
Fuck you want for eight more months
And then you’re in your

Country estate. You
Made a billion fucking notes,
Flashcards, mnemonics

Already for this
Shit. You just gotta get that
Shit back out and put

It in regular
Rotation. Fucking go to
The mattresses, like

The Corleone’s.
You know why you liked mobsters
So much? You wanted

A family. Backup.
A fucking crew. Guess what? You
Got a huge fucking

Army out there. They all
Want you to beat this shit, get
The fuck out of there,

And start your fucking
Empire. So come on, man. Hem
Up your vagina.

It’s sticking out of
Your pant leg right now. Let’s get
Back out there, and rule

This fucking hell week!
It’s not over, it’s never
Fucking over! Yes!