Better

Can you do better?

What it would cost me, how could

I justify that?

Live with myself when

I’ve caused so much pain to those

I love the most? But

Must I choose between

Expressing my truth, being

My authentic self,

And watching my kids

Raised by someone else? Tension

Is killing me slow.

Manifesting

At the threshold to

Abundance, I beheld my

Heart’s deepest yearning.

To be seen, to be

Known, appreciated and

Cherished. To see joy

In stranger’s eyes when

They behold me. To speak and

Be heard, understood.

To enjoy the fruits of

My labors. To have my love

Exchanged, increased, shared.

To no longer be

Alone, to share my deepest

Longings with someone.

Finished screaming to

The void, now my voice joins with

A chorus, comrades.

Burnout

You’d think becoming

A doctor would lead to my

Deep fulfillment, an

Intersection of

My gifts and the world’s needs.

No. It’s all band-aids.

I save a life and

Forget it, beat my head on

The wall when I don’t

Know an answer. It’s

Ashes in my mouth. Reward

For years of struggle

Is to be beset

By insoluble problems.

I long for music,

Peace, rest, safety, an

End to toil and turmoil.

Sabbath of Sabbaths.

Double Bind

It isn’t what it

Is, and it’s not what it is

Not. Nothing and all.

If you want it, it’s

Wrong. If you avoid it, it

Finds you anyway.

There is a perfect

Circle, and you are a point

On a distant plane.

When you’re right, you’re wrong.

When you’re wrong, you’re dead wrong. But

Keep on trying, friend.

Betwixt and Between

“It doesn’t matter,

But I’m telling you so you

Know.” Education

For me consists of

Polarity. If there is

A fact that I know

It is frivolous.

If I don’t know it, it is

Essential. If I

Answered the question,

They wanted it in different

Units. There was a

Typo. Twenty two

Catches snare me and I am

Broken. I cannot

Stand divided, I

Can be only one thing. I

Will tell my own truth.