Better

Can you do better?

What it would cost me, how could

I justify that?

Live with myself when

I’ve caused so much pain to those

I love the most? But

Must I choose between

Expressing my truth, being

My authentic self,

And watching my kids

Raised by someone else? Tension

Is killing me slow.

Manifesting

At the threshold to

Abundance, I beheld my

Heart’s deepest yearning.

To be seen, to be

Known, appreciated and

Cherished. To see joy

In stranger’s eyes when

They behold me. To speak and

Be heard, understood.

To enjoy the fruits of

My labors. To have my love

Exchanged, increased, shared.

To no longer be

Alone, to share my deepest

Longings with someone.

Finished screaming to

The void, now my voice joins with

A chorus, comrades.

Lucidity

Sometimes I wonder

How the fuck this all happened.

My life. All the shit.

The good, the bad, the

Strange. It is as unreal to

Me as sci-fi is.

Whose dream am I? Do

I dare to wake? When will I

Lose the thread and fall?

Double Bind

It isn’t what it

Is, and it’s not what it is

Not. Nothing and all.

If you want it, it’s

Wrong. If you avoid it, it

Finds you anyway.

There is a perfect

Circle, and you are a point

On a distant plane.

When you’re right, you’re wrong.

When you’re wrong, you’re dead wrong. But

Keep on trying, friend.

Summer’s Chill

I saw that hunger
In her ice blue eyes, and took
Her in my Chevy.

I snatched her snatch and
Sniffed her quim, so vigorous
It pulled me upright.

I unwrapped her and
Then I fucked her in the field
While the flowers bloomed.

Her ecstasy did
Not quite thaw my frozen dead
Heart, but passed the time.