Oral 101

You see this cock? This is your cock now. You are going to make it come harder and stronger than it ever has before.

Now your mouth is my mouth. Your cock, my mouth. Get it?

You have the most incredible smile. I love the way you smile. Open up your mouth as wide as you can. Come on, wider. Let me see. OK, I’m gonna stick my fingers in your mouth so you start getting used to what it feels like. Yeah, OK, you see how when I push down, you drool a lot? That’s the kind of pressure I’m talking about. I want you to be just salivating all over this thing like it’s the most delicious sausage you ever ate.

Start by kissing it on the side. That’s right, take it in your hands, kissing, lick it all over. Run your mouth back-and-forth on it. It’s nice, right? It’s soft and hard at the same time, velvet and smooth. Like the most incredible adventure you’ll ever enjoy.

Take the head, and roll your tongue around. That’s right. Grab it by the base, and just lap at it like it’s a popsicle. Good. Good.

Feel my balls with your hand, yeah, kiss them and rub them on your cheek. Take the skin and just hold it between your teeth, just a little bit. Nice.

All the way in. Slow and easy. Push me back with your mouth. Work your cheeks. I know you have more space in your throat. You can do a lot better than that. Push! Okay, you’re getting it.

Open up your blouse. Yeah. Let me see those tits. God, you’re beautiful.

Now I want you to come from your neck and bob up and down. Try to keep your head and neck straight, and then move from your chest. Use your shoulders if you need to. Yeah, that’s good.

You’ve got to be breathing through your nose. You don’t have your mouth to breathe with and I don’t want you to get overtired. Try to breathe and pump and breathe and pump.

Don’t be afraid to drool a lot. Just let it wash over it. It’s not gross, it’s not disgusting, it’s what I want. Yeah, get it all over your face, get it all over your tits. Yeah, try and use your whole body going around it, that’s right.

Keep up the motion, and reach down and start touching yourself. Yeah, I like to watch you. I think about you getting dirty, it makes me hot. Yeah, get yourself wet. Open up that little pussy and show me some pink. Pink is my favorite color.

Baby, I’m about to come, and I don’t want you to waste a single drop of it, right? You keep breathing and you keep swallowing. Here we go, here we go.

Slow down, slowly. Gentle. Just hold me in your mouth and try not to move.

OK, let me go and come on up here. That was magnificent!

2>1

When I hike her knees

Up around my waist, and the

Action spreads her sex

Wide before me, I know

That she is surrendered to

Me wholly, all mine.

When she breathes in gasps,

Ragged, and begs me not to stop,

Tightening every

Sinew in her frame,

And pulls me closer as if

To envelop me

And I drive with force

Unrelenting, touching the

Deepest spots within,

For a moment we

Create a larger body,

Her and I are one.

Hit Me as Hard as You Can

I can’t have been the only teenager who saw Fight Club in 1999 and wanted to go out and beat the shit out his friends, in hopes that we’d all feel a lot better and understand ourselves at the end of it.

Chuck Palahniuk’s novel and David Fincher’s film named a dynamic that I’m only now elucidating, with some help from Jung, Crowley, and Nietzsche: why do I crave both beauty and destruction? Why are my playlists a mixture of Mozart and Metallica? Why do I, a good hearted, Christian husband father and physician, sometimes seethe with rage and crave a storm to wash away all this filth? Is nothingness freedom, or is it nothing? Is love a prison?

Nietzsche said that God is an artist, not a moralist. His moods are wildly variable, and while supposedly changeless, He’s in fact endlessly changing, protean. Christian morality is inherently pessimistic, nihilist. It wants the end of the world, it wants there to be nothing, nobody left. A sterile, changeless void.

Certainly, you could argue that Christian morality as taught is untenable. When your thought is a crime, and you commit adultery when you look at a woman, when you are worthy of hellfire if you call your brother an idiot, it’s impossible to follow. The more you read the Bible, the more you realize how strange and subjective the text is. You read the Gospels, and they contradict themselves. Jesus is a son of David in Matthew, not a son of David in John. Jesus is crucified on a different day in Mark and John. The epistles are dense texts addressed to people we don’t know about topics we have to guess about. Revelations tells a compelling story referencing multiple symbolic systems that we don’t have in our current canonical texts.

If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him. This is a Buddhist aphorism that summarizes a meta-dynamic I’ve sensed for years is at play within the Bible. The God you can understand is not the real God. If you claim to speak for Jesus, you’re a liar. You’re blessed when you’re cursed. You’re rich when you’re poor.

Through the union of opposites, we annihilate them both and find the unity at the center. Nietzsche said that tragedy was the emergence of Apollonian reason through the catastrophe of Dionysian forces. I’d say this is a pretty fair summary of the narrative of the Bible. Morality occurs from what you learn by engaging in the text and with life, and picking up the pieces from the wreckage of your annihilated life. Kind of like Fight Club.

Garden of Unforgetting

In my journeys have I happened upon

The Garden Unforgetful, thrice did I

Eat her fruit. When first I sampled, learned I

To trip the light fanatastick, no longer

Bound by gravity, the chains were loosed, danced

For the rain. All the overseers could

Not fix me to this earth, for of the sky

Was I born; return to my home did I.

Second fruit, spoke did I in my one true

Voice, as pure and strong, the leader for whom

World ached. With deep resonance I did

Intone, command, withdrew Excalibur.

The last fruit showed me witnesses, a cloud

Kindred, broken hearts, so lonely, lovely,

Awaiting healing and communion. More

Than a year since I visited garden

Green, yet I have found it grows in me, and

Its harvest will soon become my supper.

Fulfillment

Ecstasy suffused

Her; articulate voice, now

Mouthing vowels of love

Her first juices are

Lovely; the second nectar

Is velvet new life.

My pelvis to hers

Creates a circuit from the

Sacrum to her heart

Through her throat into

My mouth, down my throat and to

My heart, sacrum and

Back into her, a

Holy electricity,

We revivify.

To the Boy

Your mother did not
Neglect you because you were
Wrong, she did because

You were the part of
Herself that she neglected.
You are the part of

Her that always knew
What was right, but suppressed it,
For the feelings of

Others. The pathos
And gratitude you see in
That photo is her

Embracing her truth.
Your parents sought to preserve
You by keeping their

Evil away. Lonely,
But insulated. The best
That they could offer.

Eternal Union

Marriage changes us.
She is part of me now, and I
Am part of her. No

Turning back. Forever.
She is Eve and Lilith, I
Am Cain and Abel.

Sacrifice, and then
Celebration, repeat. We
Fight together, we

Fight each other. Our
House, our sailing ship in which
We make the world.