Jacob’s Ladder

“The only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won’t let go of your life: your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away, but they’re not punishing you, they’re freeing your soul. If you’re frightened of dying and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. If you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth.”

Jacob’s Ladder, Meister Eckhart. https://youtu.be/yt3Ny_BG3yQ

The Devil

Tiphareth, Beauty, to Hod, Splendor, Majesty. Ayin ע . The Lord of the gates of matter. The child of the forces of time. Saturn rules, Mars exalted. Zodiacal trump of Capricorn. Pan Progenetor the all Creator. The fool, hermit, and devil represent the masculine creative energy, material and fiery. Complete appreciation and acceptance of life as it is, amor fati. Zarathustra. The male and female are divided in testicular globes prior to insemination by the phallic apparatus upon which the goat stands, supervising reincarnation.

Rev 13, Aramaic in Plain English:

1And I stood on the sand of the Sea, and I saw a beast ascending from the Sea, which had ten horns and seven heads, and upon its horns, ten diadems, and upon its heads the name* of blasphemy.2And The Beast that I saw was like a leopard, and its feet like those of a wolf and its mouth like that of lions, and the Dragon gave its throne, its power and great authority to it. 3And one of its heads was as if it had been crushed to death and its mortal wound was healed, and all The Earth marveled after The Beast.4And they worshiped the Dragon that gives authority to The Beast, and they worshiped The Beast saying, “Who is like this Beast, and who is able to war with it?” 5And a mouth that speaks great things and blasphemy was given to it, and authority was given to it to work forty two months. 6And it opened its mouth to blaspheme before God, to blaspheme The Name and the dwelling of those who dwell in Heaven.

7And it was granted to make war with The Holy Ones and to conquer them, and it was given authority over all generations, peoples, languages and nations. 8And all the inhabitants of The Earth will worship it, those who are not written in The Book of Life of The Lamb slain before the foundation of the world. 9He who has an ear, let him hear. 10Whoever leads into captivity goes into captivity and those who murder with the sword will be killed with the sword. Here is faith and the endurance of The Holy Ones.

11And I saw another Beast that ascended from the ground, and it had two horns and was like The Lamb and was speaking like The Dragon. 12And it will exercise all the authority of the former Beast before it and will make The Earth and those living in it also to worship the first Beast, whose mortal wound was healed. 13And it will perform great signs so as to make fire descend from Heaven on The Earth before the people. 14And it will seduce those living on The Earth by the signs that were given to it to perform before the Beast, to tell the dwellers on Earth to make an image to the Beast, which had the wound by the sword and lived. 15And it was given to it to give spirit to The Image of The Beast and to cause that all who would not worship the image of The Beast would be murdered.

16And it will cause all, small and great, rich and poor, Masters and Servants, to be given a mark on their right hands or on their foreheads, 17That no one may buy or sell again except one who has on him the mark of the name of The Beast or the number of its name. 18Here is wisdom, and whoever has a mind in him, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man — six hundred and sixty six.

John 13:

1But before the feast of the Passover, Yeshua had known that the hour had arrived that he would depart from this world to his Father, and he loved his own who were in this world and until the end he loved them. 2And when it was supper he cast Satan into the heart of Yehuda* son of Shimeon Scariota, so that he would betray him. 3And because Yeshua himself knew The Father had given everything into his hands and that he had gone out from God and he would go to God, 4He arose from supper and put off his robe and took a towel and tied it around his waist.

5He took water in a wash basin and began to wash the feet of his disciples and he wiped them with a towel which he had tied around his waist. 6But when he came to Shimeon Kaypha, Shimeon said to him, “Are you washing my feet for me, my Lord?” 7Yeshua answered and said to him, “What I am doing now you do not understand, but after this you will know.”8Shimeon Kaypha said to him, “You will never wash my feet.” Yeshua said to him, “If I do not wash you, you do not have any part with me.” 9Shimeon Kaypha said to him, “Therefore, my Lord, do not wash my feet only, but also my hands and my head.” 10Yeshua said to him, “He who is bathed does not need to wash except his feet only, for he is wholly clean. You are also entirely clean, but not all of you.”11Yeshua had known who would betray him, therefore, he said, “Not all of you are clean.”

12But when he had washed their feet, he took up his robe and reclined at the table and he said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you?” 13You call me, ‘our Rabbi’ and ‘Our Lord’, and you say rightly, for I am.” 14If I therefore, your Lord and your Rabbi, have washed your feet for you, how much more ought you to wash one another’s feet?” 15For I have given you this example, that you also should do in the same way as I have done to you.”16“Timeless truth I speak to you: there is no servant greater than his master and no apostle is greater than he who sent him.”17“If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.”

18“I have not spoken about all of you, for I know those whom I have chosen, but that the scripture may be fulfilled, ‘He who eats bread with me has lifted up his heel against me.’ “, 19“Now I am telling you before it happens, that when it has occurred, you shall believe that I AM THE LIVING GOD.”* 20“Timeless truth, I speak to you: whoever receives him whom I send receives me and whoever receives me receives him who sent me.”

21Yeshua said these things and was powerfully moved in his spirit and he testified and said, “An eternal reality I tell you: ‘One of you will betray me.’ ” 22But the disciples observed one another because they did not know about whom he spoke. 23But there was one of his disciples who was supported in his bosom, for whom Yeshua had great affection. 24Shimeon Kaypha gestured to him to ask him, “Who is it of whom he spoke?” 25And that disciple fell on the breast of Yeshua and said to him, “My Lord, who is it?” 26Yeshua answered and said, “It is he for whom I dip the bread and give it to him.” And Yeshua dipped the bread and gave to Yehuda Bar Shimeon Scariota.* 27And after the bread, then Satan was brought into him, and Yeshua said to him, “What you are doing, do quickly.” 28But no man among those reclining knew why he spoke to him.29For the men thought that because Yehuda had the money box that he had commanded him to buy something needed for the feast or that he would give something to the poor. 30But Yehuda took the bread immediately and he went outside, and it was night when he left.

31Yeshua said, “Now The Son of Man is glorified and God is glorified in him.”32“And if God is glorified in him, God also glorifies him in himself and at once glorifies him.” 33“My children, a little longer I am with you, and you will seek me, and just as I said to the Judeans, ‘The place to which I am departing, you cannot come’, also I say to you now.” 34“I give a new commandment to you: ‘Love one another; just as I have loved you, you should also love one another.’ ” 35“Every person will know by this that you are my disciples, if you shall have love one to the other.”

36Shimeon Kaypha said to him, “Our Lord, where are you going?” Yeshua answered and said to him, “Where I go, you cannot now come after me, but at the end you shall come.” 37Shimeon Kaypha said to him, “My Lord, why cannot I come after you now? I will lay down my life for you.” 38* And Yeshua said to him, “Will you lay down your life for my sake? Amen, amen, I say to you: ‘A rooster will not crow until you deny me three times.'”

What Have You Really Loved Till Now?

“Your real educators, those who formed you, reveal to you what is the true primary meaning and fundamental substance of your being … Your true self does not lie deeply concealed within you but immeasurably high above you, or at least above what you usually take for your ego.” Nietzsche

What I love is the

Neat, obedient, well made.

Miniature, fine

Tuned, durable, marked

By craftsmanship. Intricate,

Smelling of old wood

And discipline. Love

I also the raw, untamed,

Unshorn, tacky, and

Tawdry, unabashed

And simple, open and free.

Wild, naked, real.

I am Apollo

And I am Dionysus,

Sharing a lifetime.

The Drowned God, Chapter 5

Nile leaned forward and grabbed my crotch. “Ram. Who gives a shit? These miserable pissant pipsqueak people don’t matter at all when you’re one of us. You have a lot to remember.” My cock felt huge and tight in my jeans. “We’re landing now. No one’s going to punish you. If Jim is one of us, he’s alive out there somewhere, and if he’s not, he’s not worth anything. Those girls? Whatever. You’re just another prick to them. Everyone on earth could die in the next few months. It won’t matter.”

“But I mean, like, what’s the point? Why do anything? If it doesn’t matter if anyone lives or dies, if there’s no one out there to punish me for what I did, is this even leading to anything? I’m just supposed to fuck and die and live again and fuck and die?”

“Did you do all that shit because you wanted Santa Claus to be real? To prove yourself wrong?” I sat back. Did I? She squeezed my crotch again and sat back. “Your brother was an asshole. You were in an impossible situation. You’re a fucking warrior. Everyone wants you to be a slave.”

The wheels of the helicopter touched down in a field with a thump. “I didn’t want to hurt him. I loved him. He should have been my friend. We should have worked together. Instead, he wanted to hurt me. He wanted me to disappear, to never have been born. Without him, I don’t know who I am and what I’m about. Other people look at me, and they see Jim.”

“Your dick is still rock hard,” she said, pointing at my obvious erection through my jeans and giving it a pat. I squirmed in my seat. “That means you’re not dead yet. Think about all the girls you’ve never fucked. You can’t tell me you don’t want to live anymore.” She released her safety harness and climbed out of the cabin. I followed suit, and we climbed out into an empty field in the mountains. She saluted Frank, the pilot, and we walked to the edge of the field. The rotors started, and he ascended into the cloudy sky.

She turned to me. “If you want to save people’s lives before the coming purification by fire and water, we can. It’s up to you. Like I said, it’s all happened before. I’m going to take you to the Kingdom of Arcadia and we’ll see if we can get your memories back.”

The air smelled so clean and pure; I felt better than I had for a long time. She led me to a hedge where there was a huge stone gate, its door hanging open. I tried to ask her more questions, but she wasn’t listening.

Inside the gateway the sky had cleared. The light was pink in the sunset, and peace came over me. Rabbits skittered around the grass, and birdsong filled the air. It was like the death and horror of the cities had no impact on them on the animals whatsoever.

We approached a low stone building. A staircase wound round the interior, descending into darkness. Nile turned to me, breaking the silence. “You have a light, Ram?” She reached up to the wall of the staircase and pulled a lantern from a dark recess. I dug into my pockets and found a lighter. Torchlight blazed, and she smiled at me in the new light. “It’ll be nice to have you back on the team.” I nodded, and we made our way down the staircase. “So when can I start calling you Xarque again?” A chill ran down my spine. 

“You know about … my name?” We made our way down the stone steps. 

“I’ve always known you as Xarque Ozyeus in your previous lives. What’s wrong with your name this time?” 

“That was my birth name. It got changed officially to Robert Beezle by Witness Protection, but everyone had been calling me Bobby or Ram before that. I just wouldn’t answer to it. It pissed my Dad off.”

“You know what it means?” 

“Not really.” I shook my head. I probably could have looked it up, but I had never bothered. 

“It means ‘the dry bones become flesh.'” We came into a dark room at the bottom of the stairs, and pink sunlight lit the chamber at the rear. 

“So it means I’m fated to turn into some sea monster death god?” 

Nile laughed and led me to a water basin in the sunlight. She fitted her torch into a holder on the wall. “It means you make dead things come to life. You have the power to destroy and the power to create. If you choose to kill everyone … that’s what will happen. Now get your clothes off.” 

She started unbuttoning her blouse. My dick was way too confused to react. I pulled my shirt over my head. “We’re entering Arcadia. We have to purify ourselves of this world before we can pass these waters.” She dropped her slacks and stepped out of them. I goggled at her slim, golden body, now only clad in black lingerie. I kicked my shoes off and pulled down my jeans. My dick was stirring. 

She undid and discarded her bra, revealing thin breasts with dark nipples.  Her G-string vanished. My erection was now so huge that I could barely get my briefs off of it. I stood naked in the stone room. Nile slowly leaned over the basin and filled a chalice nearby. 

Previous chapter: https://hermanshermitage.com/2020/12/11/the-drowned-god-chapter-4/

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