I recreate the best parts of my childhood for my children
And as for the worst parts,
I relive them endlessly in my dreams and internal thought life

I recreate the best parts of my childhood for my children
And as for the worst parts,
I relive them endlessly in my dreams and internal thought life
I sought to excise the unruly elements from my life, but
Found that in me there was
An irreducible unruliness that would not be subdued
We don’t talk anymore; I
Pretend it’s mutual but
It was you who decided.
Perhaps I wasn’t good for
You, though I always tried to
Be good to you. For the best,
I tell myself, while the you
Shaped hole in me aches, empty
Bitter catharsis
Leaves me drained, devoid,
Exhausted, reborn
I’ll chisel away
All the parts of you
That aren’t really you
I am sure it gave you no
Satisfaction to watch me
Take a fall, and recovery
Was a foregone conclusion.
All the same, have a great life.
Do not talk to me again.
Are others’ minds like mine? Do
They whir with fantasy, then
Screech in harsh accusation?
If there is a beautiful
Woman to watch me, I am
Unbeatable. But what can
I do in the dark, alone?
I wander this world in
Search of who I was, who I
Could have been, my missing piece.