Death is a woman,
Beautiful, luxurious,
Cold, waiting for me.
Death is a woman,
Beautiful, luxurious,
Cold, waiting for me.
My face doesn’t work.
When my family sees me,
They worry, “what has
Happened?” Nothing. This
Is just who I am now. This
Shell is all I am.
She keeps her martyr’s
Funeral pyre beneath
Our bed, ready to
Light and lay upon
It, devoured in flames like
She always wanted.
I recollect this,
Decide to keep my mouth shut.
The fire smolders.
Outside my window,
Raging destruction, I just
Can’t care about it.
Galloping horse am
I, my blood streaming down my
Flanks, never stopping.
Oblivion dreamt
I, one night, and still it calls
To me, beckoning.
Throttle, crush, smash, just
Nonstop devastation and
Cruelty abound.
I will make you so
Sorry that you ever crossed
Me. Choke you to death.
Rip your snide little
Grin right off your fucking face.
Struggle and suffer.
Burn in agony.
I hope you die blue in the
Face, gasping for breath.
I am pitiless.
They have pitted us against
Each other. Only
One can arise from
This pit, and it’s going to
Be me. No mercy.
Plunging through space I
Fall into infinity
Awaiting nothing
You’d think becoming
A doctor would lead to my
Deep fulfillment, an
Intersection of
My gifts and the world’s needs.
No. It’s all band-aids.
I save a life and
Forget it, beat my head on
The wall when I don’t
Know an answer. It’s
Ashes in my mouth. Reward
For years of struggle
Is to be beset
By insoluble problems.
I long for music,
Peace, rest, safety, an
End to toil and turmoil.
Sabbath of Sabbaths.