Allow me to snuff
My light and stifle myself,
Not to blind you with
My light, overwhelm
And threaten you with what I
Am. Yet despite my
Best intentions, the
Shell cracks. The truth leaks out and
Devastates my love.
Shatter
Tag: dissociation
Space Monkey
They all revise my
History as if they were
Always on my side,
But I remember
What I really am to them:
A space monkey, the
One they pinned their dreams
On, kept in a cage, fed drugs,
Forgot on weekends.
Strapped in a tube and
Shot into space. They don’t know
How cold it is here.
Their show of support
Rings hollow as I labor
To save a world
Not my own, drifting
Further from who I am and
My still beating heart.
Confidante
Behind these cold dead
Eyes, what secrets do I hide?
Ones you’ll want erased.
Self Sufficient
“You were always the
Kid we never worried for.
You didn’t get in
Trouble like your bros.”
Maybe if you had worried,
You’d have seen the shit
That happened to me.
But I took it home and locked
It up, slow poison.
Mask Down
Such a relief when
I take my mask off and
Show my real face to
Myself in the car
Mirror after I leave you
At home every day.
Deadened
It only hurts when I
Breathe, or hope, or believe
In something again.
Pill
Food doesn’t taste right.
Take a pill. Feeling mean. Take
A pill. Dark clouds hang
Over me. Take a pill.
This time I’ll feel better. I
Take a pill. I wait.
Cold Comfort
Your encouragement
Is Vaseline soaked gauze on
My sucking chest wound.
Devolution
My skeleton will
Melt. I will make my home in
The nautilus shell.
