I would not, could not

In the butt, I would not, could

Not, for it is shut.

A finger in my

Ass, you say? No finger will

Enter me today.

A leather ball gag

Is not for me; even if

You say I’m a drag.

These proclivities

Which you suggest are simply

Not my cup of tea.

Try it and I may,

You say? Very well. Only

To please you. Okay.

Say! This isn’t so

Bad. I rather like it in

The butt! You can go

Further, if you want!

Faster, faster, go, go, go!

Wow! What a jaunt!

I do so like it

In the ass! Perhaps I’ll try

That ball gag! Don’t quit!

You are a wise man,

I can see, humane, thank you,

Thank you, Sam I Am.

(Illustrations from Dr. Seuss’ The Seven Lady Godivas)